A literal Crack fic
by werepirechick753
Summary: What happens when Pudding gets her hands on a big bag of crack? MASS HYSTERIA and Zakuro with a vidio camera! Co- Written with Meow426!


Today starts a not-so-normal day at Cafe Mew Mew. Here's how it all started. " Pudding! Watch out where you're going with that bag of crack! And don't put it in my cake! I spent all night making it and I'm stressed enough already!" Keiichiro shouted. " Ok, Na No Da!" Pudding responded. " I am gonna go wake Ryou up!" he informed Pudding. " Ok! Na No Da!" Pudding said happily! As soon as Keiichiro was gone, she murmured evily to herself, " Did I forget to tell him that today is opposite day? Whoops! Na No Da!" She then dropped said crack that came from hell knows where into the cake batter! Then she sang, "There's crack in the cake and I don't care! I don't care! I don't care! Even though I shouldn't have put it there! Who fucking cares? Na No Da!" As she mixed the pound of crack into the cake batter. As soon as the batter was mixed enough, she added more milk so it wouldn't show the crack. Then Keiichiro turned the corner with Ryou, who wandered off to torment Ichigo again. Keiichiro picked up the batter, poured it into the pan, and murmured, " This is heavier than I remember. Hey Pudding, where did your bag of crack go?" Nervous, Pudding blurted out, " I snorted it!" Keiichiro got upset. " DAMNIT PUDDING! I WANTED SOME! PLUS YOU BROKE MY RECORD!" Confused, Pudding said, " Really?" Just for Keiichiro to respond with, " Nope!".

So, the day with everyone serving the customers passed uneventfully, as Pudding slowly forgot about the crack. At the end of the day, everyone gathered around and sang happy birthday to Lettuce. And then Keiichiro pulled the crack cake out of the oven, frosted it, and presented it to the Mews. Even the aliens came. The cake was soo good, that everyone had fourths. Except for Zakuro, who didn't have any. That's when things got extremly weird...

Ryou was the first to go nuts. As all of this happened, Zakuro pulled out a vidio camera. " Oh deary, my love, you look might fine today! YEEEEHAW!" He said as he turned to Ichigo, and started biting her nose. " OMFG RYOU WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM! Plus, you are sooo not my type!" Ichigo said, obviously creeped out. Ryou tackled her and started muttering somthing incoherint about chinese food eating your soul. Then Mint started saying somthing about stripping and running around Tokyo with a blindfold. Then Lettuce and Keiichiro started doing the macarana, while saying, " CHICKEN TURKEY TURKEY TURKEY." Pudding was currently acting like herself, because she was already a crack addict so nothing really changed! Suddenly, Ichigo kicked Ryou where the sun don't shine then kissed him. Zakuro randomly shouted, " AND FREEZE!" Like one of those D.J's who remix songs. Everyone froze in place, terrified. Then Ichigo shouted about how cheese block her up. The worst part, Is she was dead serious. Then she proceeded to ask if she could have some cheese. Keiichiro started peeing of a potted plant, then being shoved over by Ichigo, and covering himself in his own pee. Then, Mint, Ichigo and Lettuce Got down on their hands and knees and started barking like dogs. Ryou, Keiichiro and Pudding walked them around the room like show dogs. Zakuro shouted out, " ICHIGO AND RYOU WIN!" And tossed Ichigo a dog treat. Ryou started complaining that he wanted one too. Mint then ran over and lick Zakuro on the cheek and shouted out " I LOVE YOU! NOT REALLY BUT LOL!"

After that, things got even weirder. Everyone started ding acrobatics! And I don't mean the easy, bouncing on the bed stuff, I mean like really hard. The aliens, who were quiet until now, started screaming that they needed a tampon for Pai, because it was his time of month and they wanted to teach him how to use a tampon using Kisshu as an example. Music started playing from the walls of the cafe and everyone sang along to the Weird Al theme song! But no one accually sang the right lyrics. Ichigo turned into a cat, and everyone but Zakuro, who was in mid hysterics, started shreiking, " HOLLY ASS FUCKS! IT'S A CAT! WHERE THE FUCK DID ICHIGO GO! AHHHHHH! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!". The cat, who was accually Ichigo, was acting like a five-year-old-Pudding on uppers. She proceded to climb up the walls. Then she took a dump on Ryous head. As she climbed down from the ceiling, Keiichiro ate his own sock. Then everyone collapsed. Zakuro stopped taping a second after Ichigo screamed " I'm a hoe! Idaho! Yay! Yay! Yay!". Zakuro curled up on the floor, and passed out next to Ryou.

The one who woke up first was Ryou, who was currently surounded by both men and women who were currently asleep. So he woke up in the morning feeling like P- Diddy! Ha, so when he sat up, Ichigo, who was clinging to him, woke up. Then she screamed at him, which woke up everyone else. Zakuro, remembering last night, started laughing. Then she said, " Who wants to watch a movie?" After they watched it, Ryou burned the movie, and said, " We will never speak of this to ANYONE!".

The end!


End file.
